Dear Nintendo,

We need to talk.

There is a global assumption that nothing is perfect. However, many games published by the fine hands of Nintendo come quite close to that. Zelda is pretty fun. Mario appeared in over 200 games and still is on top of game franchises. But Super Smash Brothers Brawl falls far short. And for one reason: Jigglypuff. Nintendo, how badly could you have f*&#ed this one up?

First off, why is the greatest Pokemon there ever is, ever was, and ever will be a lockable character? As a matter of fact, why is he even in this game. Nintendo should feel blessed that Jigglypuff has even agreed to belittle himself by joining in a mascot free-for-all. The only free-for-alls Jigglypuff does are those that consist of two female Jigglypuffs and one cup. Not only that, but the pink balloon Pokemon deserves a commemorable statute of himself erected in every major city on the world. The five horsemen of the Apocalypse are like children playing cowboys and indians as they jump up and down on those stupid poles with horse heads attached to the end of them when compared to the doom and fear that Jigglypuff strikes into his enemies.

Second off, why does he suck? And wheres his real signature move? I'm not talking about lullaby. Thats kid shit. I'm talking about the Jigglypuff that whips out his mighty manhood of annihilation and tea bags his enemies. Is this not why Jigglypuff is jumping up and down all the time? Because his nuts are so big that he has to gently bounce on them as he moves since his feet never really touch the ground.

Third off, screw Lucario. What is that crap about? The more damage to Lucario, the stronger he gets? Horse crap. At 0%, Jigglypuff equals what Lucario would be at 500%. Not only that, but Lucario looks like he has nut sacs hanging off the side of his head.

I demand a patch via WiiWhateverOnline to download for everyone that will allow Jigglypuff at his true potential. In addition, I want Nintendo to admit their wrongdoing for disgracing "The Great One." And also, free beers for everyone.

Your's truly,

Puff Daddy

xoxoxoxo

Uhh... Alrighty...

I'm guessing the reason nobody is posting here is because every regular user died in a nuclear attack. Only a few survived and the average of 12 guests per day don't register or post....

Yo - I'll let you in on a little something. I don't really care if people comment. Its nice. But it doesn't matter. i've been with Wiivo before there was a Wii and it was still being debated if it would come out in colors and if the whole thing was a gimmick. No matter if you comment or not, I will still be writing stupid shit....even if a nuclear attack hit. I just wanted to write something because I said in the other post I would continue being a prick...figured it linked together well.